spank my cabbage

2002-08-19T21:56:00.000-04:00

carmen: my family has taken to imitating cows
elizabeth: that sounds fun

2002-08-18T19:23:00.000-04:00

I am back from the beach where I did see blues clues on tv and it re-established HOW MUCH I DON'T LIKE JOE. But seagulls are nice.

2002-08-17T23:35:00.000-04:00

moved my site to t35.com. new layout. in the words of iain, you should mos def check it.

2002-08-08T10:32:00.000-04:00

i was watching blues clues just now and i read the credits and you know what? STEVE AND JOE ARE NOT REALLY BROTHERS. AND JOE'S NAME ISN'T REALLY JOE. i knew it. nick jr, how dare you deceive me for all this time.

in other news, my site is back but web1000's got to go. there's no excuse for what he did to me and i can't imagine ever being able to look at him in the same way again. this is definitely the end.

only blues clues could make up for posting this early in the day.

2002-08-06T22:18:00.000-04:00

MY SITE IS GONE AND NOW IT IS PORN.

i come home, my site is gone for what seems like for good and my scanner refuses to work no matter what i do. obviously the computer and i are in a big fight right now. i will worry with this once the zine is finished.

i'm just glad that thanks to ftp i've got everything on disk and that is alright. i honestly don't have any idea what to do but until i figure something out i guess i'm siteless. it's kind of a liberating feeling... now to become a buddhist.

web1000, this in no way lets you off the hook.

2002-07-26T16:56:00.000-04:00

::slap::
and that's for taking art down! RA!

2002-07-26T00:10:00.000-04:00

carmen: i'll ee it tomorrow on your computer that is not psycho
elizabeth: your computer is a sad man
carmen: my computer is a lonely geek beast
elizabeth: BEAST!
carmen: ith anger to vent on innocent webmistresses
elizabeth: nah
elizabeth: it just can't handle noah with a mullet

2002-07-25T13:35:00.000-04:00

Elizabeth's potiential career of being a child care provider: slim
Elizabeth's potiential career of being a bum: fat
I just drank a liter of vanilla coke. is that bad?

2002-07-24T21:02:00.000-04:00

death cab for cutie = pure love in mp3 form.

today i started cleaning out my sister's desk the way i started cleaning out my room: take everything out and then put it back in. this requires many organizational containers and one extreme big trash bag. i have seen more pokemon paraphernalia today than i ever cared to see in my entire life.

now our living room (where my sister's desk is) is a complete wreck. much like my room. i am a tornado!

also, last night we went goodwill hunting and i now own a glass mug named heiner.

2002-07-23T14:33:00.000-04:00

RA! you need a host! Hear that all you hoster people? I wonder if anyone really reads this.
TwEEtrpEEp: how's the kayak?
oarocks: its commin
TwEEtrpEEp: cool
oarocks: my dad glued a brick to it by accident
oarocks: that was fun to get off
I can just be glad that there is not a brick on my homemade kayak.

2002-07-22T20:41:00.000-04:00

when rivers cuomo has long shaggy hair and no glasses, he almost looks a little like kurt cobain. and the "sign our guestbook!" image at the bottom of this page is proof.

by the way, i have ended the search for a host because it is obvious that since i do not use photoshop brushes or update my page regularly anymore my site is not good enough for ANYONE.

but if that's what it means to stick to your values then i guess that is ok. I AM A FREE SPIRIT!

2002-07-21T20:35:00.000-04:00

i had been pretty proud of the fact that i had not blogged (other than site updates) for over 3 months, but unfortunately i must end this period of abstinence because THE CABBAGE MUST LIVE.

desperately searching for a host because web1000 = porn.

2002-07-12T01:29:00.000-04:00

this blog needs to be brought back. It is too funny and good and worthy to let go to blog death. I watch ER a lot so I know how to bring things back from the dead. Even when they are wanted on death row. CABBAGE BLOG 4EVR IT RULZ!

2002-07-08T15:13:00.001-04:00

POWIEBAR!

2002-07-08T15:13:00.000-04:00

guess what I'm eating!

2002-06-21T19:13:00.000-04:00

cabbage, you have betrayed us

2002-06-09T16:31:00.000-04:00

omylord, old old blog

2002-04-29T14:48:00.000-04:00

"wow you guys. wednesday is march."

2002-04-08T19:47:00.000-04:00

this weekend i told myself continually that i would not return to the computer until exams had safely passed. then i had to come and make my mix cd and lo and behold. also today i slept completely through 2 of my classes, one during jesus christ superstar. i am a complete lazy slob.

but i am feeling pretty good despite my lack of will power because i am wearing my tie dye socks. also, last night once again i fed my family stuffed peppers i made with smartground and they still didn't know it. in fact, my dad continues to compliment me on my hidden talent for cooking. i take this as a success.

2002-04-05T12:51:00.001-05:00

number 4? number 4?

2002-04-05T12:51:00.000-05:00

omylord.......
3 rivers is going to rock the spank off tommorrow
NEW BED YAY no more sleeping on floor

guide to pissing yer mom off:
1.) call her and tell her you're bored and don't know what to do
2.) don't clean house after she asks you to
3.) don't start dinner till after she comes home
3.) wait till she comes home and threatens to ground you till you clean

she's not mad anymore.... yay

2002-04-04T23:14:00.000-05:00

NEW LORDOFTHERINGS.NET

and in their quest to promote the new movie they've gotten rid of most of the videos. this is terrible. now when i need to hear billy boyd's sweet irish accent where will i turn??

2002-04-04T21:52:00.000-05:00

reasons why you should buy smartground meatless ground beef:

1) it is better and healthier for you than real gound beef.
2) it is friendly to cows.
3) it is 8700% easier to cook because you don't have to drain the grease or anything.
4) it tastes so real, your family won't know the difference. (i know this from personal experience)

the irony in my half-assed health kick is after soy hamburger helper i proceeded to eat my weight in easter chocolate.

2002-04-03T17:06:00.000-05:00

blog cannot stay in a state of hell anymore because DRIVER'S LICENSE IS EXCELLENT and independency makes life mega great and exciting. and spring break is long needed and appreciated.

this weekend i drove the entire way to the beach and i think i'm developing a case of secretary ass from extended periods of driving. everyone says i don't look like i'm walking bowlegged but i feels it in my ass bones.

2002-03-27T20:54:00.000-05:00

come back from hell blog... come back

2002-03-25T17:53:00.000-05:00

http://members.tripod.com/powiebar/yaysym.jpg

2002-03-25T17:50:00.000-05:00

Monday is over yay OOOH MUST MAKE NEW SYMBOL

2002-03-24T23:44:00.000-05:00

TwEEtrpEEp: OMGOD
disgruntldcarmen: haha
TwEEtrpEEp: .HE HAS MULLET

PS this is not alluding to strider. (for once)

2002-03-24T21:16:00.000-05:00

so i don't watch much tv because i'm a trendy anti-trendite. and i don't see many movies because i never watch tv and i don't know about them. however i am watching the oscars anyway just because i'm hoping hoping hoping to see strider even though i know they won't because no one else takes the lord of the rings seriously or do they? STUPID IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND YOU MAKE ME DEFY ALL MY MORALS.

2002-03-23T17:16:00.000-05:00

I wonder what blog hell is like... maybe... all emo enteries or... writing LikE tHisz. MaN tHAt Suxx000000rrrrrzzzzz

2002-03-23T00:25:00.000-05:00

dinner at Derrick's house and strange quaker movie. fun for one and all

I'll blow thee up with thy cannon

2002-03-22T23:14:00.000-05:00

tonight i did not have the im door slammed on me, but i was online and no one else was online except william so when patrick signed on i guess he decided to stay because of william. but the thing is william had been idle for 4 hours so i guess patrick realized this and so after i spent about 2 minutes telling him about how i failed my driving test today he goes "oh my mom is calling me i have to go." so ends a bad day beyond belief. who are you looking for, patrogers? or i'm just not cool enough to talk to yeah that's it, i understand. it happens a lot.

this blog really is going to hell.

2002-03-21T22:13:00.000-05:00

yet again, it is 10:14 and the IM door was once again slammed on me

2002-03-21T22:09:00.000-05:00

And lo, the IM door was slammed upon me at 10:09 PM

2002-03-20T16:58:00.000-05:00

emophilia - (n.) failure of tear ducts to clot. causes chronic whining and crying; an irrational addiction to dashboard confessional.

2002-03-18T00:59:00.000-05:00

spank new bag and spank new sites and spank zoo and spank weekend.

school I hate you

2002-03-17T00:31:00.000-05:00

4 times.

2002-03-17T00:04:00.000-05:00

i've been slammed by the im door 3 times tonight. i am not angry. really.

i am not angry because i am in love with strider now. strider loves me when the im door doesn't.

2002-03-16T00:28:00.000-05:00

my brain.... is like Jesus....

2002-03-14T20:35:00.000-05:00

when i'm in a really boring class i start thinking about how great it would be to build my house in the side of a hill. and it would have a big round door and a low-hanging chandelier that gandalf would hit his head on when he comes to visit me periodically.

speaking of gandalf, i saw him driving a brown pickup truck when i was riding the bus on the way to school today. he was not wearing a hat though.

2002-03-12T21:48:00.000-05:00

disgruntldcarmen: i enjoy the contests to see who can come up with the most obscene insult
TwEEtrpEEp: oooh
TwEEtrpEEp: man
TwEEtrpEEp: what did he call me again?
TwEEtrpEEp: cock tirant
TwEEtrpEEp: ?
TwEEtrpEEp: tyrant
TwEEtrpEEp: what a name
disgruntldcarmen: yeah
disgruntldcarmen: Definitions of tyrant:
noun: a dictator or dictatorial person
disgruntldcarmen: a penis dictator
TwEEtrpEEp: over penises?!
disgruntldcarmen: or a dictating penis
disgruntldcarmen: your call
TwEEtrpEEp: ew!
disgruntldcarmen: that's yates for you
TwEEtrpEEp: rar

2002-03-11T10:32:00.000-05:00

had 2nd bob lesson this morning. the first thing he said to me was, "i like that purple stripe on your sleeve. it matches the purple on my shirt. ha ha ha."

bob is a frightening man.

2002-03-10T18:18:00.000-05:00

flu is killing me. took mega long nap. the last thing i remembered was my dad saying goodbye because he was going to drop off my sister's friend and go to the grocery store and so i told him to get alka seltzer cold and flu. and i just woke up and saw that the clock read 6:00 and all i could think was "wow i skipped dinner maybe that will make up for the 24 gallons of ice cream i ate today" and "damn it i have a bob class in 3 hours." but my family was nowhere to be found. so just as i'm about to get in the shower i realize it's sunday night and i've still got 15 hours to get over the flu before bob. thank god, and damn it, alas.

2002-03-09T08:04:00.000-05:00

DIDJEREDOO yay!
I am back from backpacking. It was not as uber mctastic as the didgeredoo, but it was fun. New pack and my good ole' LL Bean Blister Machines...

Spending the work week with Mr. Barber was the best part I think. I can't wait for the pictures to develop...

2002-03-06T18:16:00.000-05:00

you wish you had a didjeredoo as uber mctastic as mine.

2002-03-03T20:12:00.000-05:00

i saw lord of the rings again today. strider, you mend my broken heart.

my dad and my sister went grocery shopping today. they spent $130 and we still have no granola. however we now have a wide selection of snack cakes and frozen pizza-type products.

2002-03-03T02:19:00.000-05:00

to be my boyfriend, you must fit the following requirements:

you must be viggo mortensen (strider/aragorn)
must have the energy and culinary skeels of the naked chef.
must have sexy irish accent of billy boyd.
must have musical genius of dave matthews.

computer gaming addicts and hackers need not apply.

2002-03-03T00:04:00.000-05:00

disgruntldcarmen: he will be smart and funny and he will have good taste.
disgruntldcarmen: HE WILL NOT IGNORE ME OR SHUT THE IM DOOR IN MY FACE.
TwEEtrpEEp: no shutting of the im door

2002-03-02T22:52:00.000-05:00

Phoenix1793MG: im back
TwEEtrpEEp: ok
Phoenix1793MG: arent you happy?
TwEEtrpEEp: ANIMAL CRACK ASS

this sums up my week

2002-03-02T15:25:00.000-05:00

bob will show up at my house any minute now. i am afraid.

last night i took 2 hours to get pretty and then i ran across the bilo parking lot as fast as i could in my pretty dress. in my bare feet. i washed one but the other is still dirty, even though i took another shower about an hour ago, and that frightens me too.

2002-02-27T21:02:00.000-05:00

WHEELY COW

2002-02-26T21:34:00.000-05:00

packing is EVIL and not going to school is good. Noel makes mention of funny site : http://www.bertc.com/sniglets.htm

there is good out there... somewhere...

2002-02-26T18:15:00.000-05:00

so i was browsing somebody's guestbook and clicked on a link to this site and found a nice long definition of SPAM. i think it's funny that they are threatening SPAM-ers with the Mail Abuse Prevention System (MAPS). MAPS is the anti-SPAM and also the opposite of SPAM. i find that rather profound.

i was only surfing the internet after i had done my homework. no i didn't stay home from school today being lazy and wasting time on the internet. who in the world would do that?

2002-02-26T16:28:00.000-05:00

it's pretty bad when olivia calls you from school and wakes you up at 9:30 a.m. asking where you are when it's the day of the big history test and the majority of the class is absent.

2002-02-24T00:53:00.000-05:00

Beautiful cabbage
you rock my spank
you were hard to get
but Carmen knew how to grow you
because she has mastahed superior webmaster skillz
YAY

2002-02-23T23:08:00.000-05:00

i enjoy having the most incoherent blog imaginable.

2002-02-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

TwEEtrpEEp: "it's not just him, it's his dog too"

2002-02-23T22:33:00.000-05:00

dad: "what are you looking at?"
me: "pictures of cabbage"

2002-02-20T17:10:00.000-05:00

wowie what a cool story. Ms Dabbs will love it. drown meio drown.

2002-02-19T23:35:00.000-05:00

and then there was success. does it matter now? no.

2002-02-19T22:18:00.000-05:00

WORK WORK WORK

2002-02-19T21:58:00.000-05:00

WORK BLOGGER

2002-02-19T21:47:00.000-05:00

my biology project:

once upon a time there were two sisters named mito and meio and they thought that since they were fraternal twins that they had the same genes and but they were WRONG. one day they decided to reproduce to ensure the continuation of their race so mito split and meio split too but meio only got half the chromosomes somehow.

later they found out that mito and meio were not sisters at all because mito and her daughter and all the rest of the family were elbow cells and somehow meio's daughter was a sex cell. this arose in a huge family uproar because the elbow cells were a long and prominent dynasty and they needed a male elbow cell to carry on the family name and mito couldn't have male elbow cell children because she only carried XX chromosomes. the family disowned meio because she was obviously an illegitimate child and they all hated her. they were japanese but they lived in thailand because elbow cells are widely discriminated against and they didn't have much extra money to spend on extra chromosome 21's and the like.

mrs. dabbs will like this. except maybe the fraternal twins part which she will hate because i am so lucky.

2002-02-19T21:39:00.000-05:00

what happened to my crawfish commentary?? blogger, why do you hate me so

2002-02-19T15:04:00.000-05:00

Mr. Pip says vegiterians rock the party that rocks the party, yo.
Vegiterians don't eat Mr. Pip for lunch.

Sickness is no fun.

2002-02-10T23:55:00.000-05:00

AAAAAAAHHHHH OA EXCIDERNESS!!!!!!!
I made valentines tonight. Fun for one and all. prettie prettie.
the pirouline can cut my thumb. Damn the piroulines. Damn them.
OA EXCIDERRRRRRRRRRRRR!
RAAAARRRR
Alyssa says: "Mmmrrrrr Elizabeth I want to meet Carmen and you have to bring Mr. Pip to Atlanta so I can meet him."
WOWIE!

2002-02-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

so last night elizabeth and i played at coffeehouse. standing ovations. it was incredible. not sporadic, one person stands, then another person after that, no. EVERYONE jumps up at the end and starts freaking out. homemade t-shirts with big red broken hearts that read "happy valentine's day" but it just goes to show everyone's had their angsty little teenage heart broken at least once. or twice. i can't believe i found the nerve to play and SING in front of a room full of upperclassmen, and i can't believe they loved it. i can't believe it happened. it was the single greatest feeling ever. it was insane crazy mad fantastic uber fatty mctabulous kewliez.

i think most everyone was simply amazed by the fact that we wrote our own song, maybe more amazed that we exist. OUR SONG DOES NOT SOUND LIKE THE CALLING. no allie nooo

popularity is fun. it will last. maybe.

2002-02-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

common sense 101: do not bring napalm to school.

2002-02-07T22:18:00.000-05:00

ROCKSTARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-02-06T19:25:00.000-05:00

Hay so my mom said yes to band practice tommorrow afternoon. I'm so excider. I hope everything works. I just found a bunch of old mix cd's that rock my face off..... HAPPIE

I'm going to actually do homework tonight. wow.
let sam in please

2002-02-05T23:52:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day Song

It’s valentine’s day again
Get out your doilies, red paper and pen
Time to go out and spread your love
Fly around like a startled dove
no little sweet heart chocolates in the store
dating must be such a chore
I guess they sold OUT!

Chorus
It doesn’t matter anyway
Cause when you're single on valentine’s day
No one calls you cookie, or sweetie, or honey, or lovey dovey
(each chorus the names at the end change except for “cookie”)

Barbie hearts and X-wing love letters
Snow flakes and big red sweaters
Rose bouquets and baby’s breath
This is much happier than Macbeth
Hugs and kisses all around
Boyfriends and girlfriends found
Except for me…..
Chorus

So I like this guy
I’ve liked him since July
I hoped for a card from him
Even though I knew my chances were slim
I checked when the mail arrived
And as expected my box was deprived
Valentines day again…….
Chorus

I don’t let it get to me
I’m just one fish in a big sea
Waiting on my tuna or my carp
To come and woo me with a harp
When that day will come, I don’t know
I hope I don’t end up on some talk show
GO AWAY SHARK!
Chorus

by the way Mr. Frito Lay - you have a strange name. Mr Pip is going to beat you up.

2002-02-05T20:23:00.000-05:00

Dear Mr. Frito Lay,

While browsing the snack aisle at my local grocery store today I picked up a bag of your delectable potato chips and noticed that printed on your bag was the phrase "Bet you can't eat just one."

I have accepted your challenge.

Today I ate one, just one, one single potato chip from that bag. Mind you, it was indeed delicious and delightful in all of its oily processed snack food goodness. But I am a powerhouse of willpower. I have yet to eat another.

However, I have come to ponder the phrase "just one." Just one what? The challenge you are implying is very vague. If you indeed meant one single chip, then I believe I have won. But what about the rest of the bag? Do you expect me to simply throw it away? I find it extremely wasteful and American of you to challenge your consumers to eat just one chip and then dispose of the rest. I believe the only way to go through with this challenge in a mindful and environmentally friendly manner would be to get every participant in the world to eat just one chip out of the same bag, so as to minimize waste. But certainly you know that would never happen. What were you thinking? Or did you mean one chip per day? Because that is certainly achievable. Or one chip per week? Per month?

Or, did you mean just one bag? Because if you did, then you are depriving me of the oily processed snack food goodness I crave. I do not appreciate you for this. However, I am not sure that this is indeed what you meant, because I don't find much of a challenge in it, and after consulting my colleagues, I do not think that many other people find it very difficult either. Because who hasn't sat down in front of the TV and eaten an entire bag of your artery-clogging potato chips before, without even realizing it? Seriously.

I propose that the new label on your bags should be much more specific. For example, "Bet you can't eat just one chip per day per week per year," so as to cut down on further confusion. I have not taken any classes on advertising, but I do not think confusing your customers is the best way to go about selling a product. No matter how many addictive chemicals you inject into your potatoes.

Oh yes, and by the way, please put more chips in your bags. Opening a fresh new bag to find it already half-eaten is not a good feeling.

Sincerely,
Carmen Keck

2002-02-05T19:42:00.000-05:00

ack! matt! ack!
My condolences.

2002-02-04T22:14:00.000-05:00

something happened today that i believe may very well be the single most tragic event in history.

i found out matt hiltner is in my winterim.

2002-02-01T22:28:00.000-05:00

wowie

powie

2002-02-01T21:34:00.000-05:00

I don't have a ride anywhere unless it's from someone else till after 4:00. Tommorrow night I am abandoned by the Brady Bunch (open for anything). I vote on some sort of arts and crafts session while watching funny movies at someones house. My house is open but it's my dads... the kids I don't think will be here but you never know....

I found a new show that is entertaining. Celine was watching Nickalodeon in my room and "The Fairly Oddparents" came on and it's funny. Some really random stuff in it.
"I have good news and bad news"
"what's the bad news?"
"the alien's parents are looking for him and if they don't find him they will blow up the earth"
"Oh so what's the good news?"
"I found a quarter, I named it Phillip."

Kane's spelling of "William" : "Willyummy"
You get detention for trapping me in a toilet paper cacoon.

2002-02-01T19:15:00.000-05:00

i am all for getting together tomorrow. need to have cabbage practice. after bob classes. please come eat lunch with me

2002-02-01T19:14:00.000-05:00

so i stayed after school to play age of empires with mr. russell and company and found out conquering the world is much harder than i thought it was.

and then when my mom showed up 30 minutes late she took me to my grandmother's and i slept for a long time.

building your own empire is exhausting business.

2002-02-01T17:45:00.000-05:00

LACROSSE spanks my cabbage

what are we going to do tommorrow? I need to be saved.
dads house: 782-2805

2002-01-31T23:47:00.000-05:00

stirrrrrr the pot
13 minutes until february

2002-01-31T23:43:00.000-05:00

Mr. Big is real. Where is Mr. Small?

Mr. Pip is the best.

2002-01-31T23:31:00.000-05:00

shake that ass like a sine curve function

2002-01-31T23:27:00.000-05:00

nice asymptote

2002-01-31T23:26:00.000-05:00

if you want to sound cool, simply say the following words in any order and immediately gain respect and love from all those around you: juggle mushrooms moose moo cow goatwee quishbishish

2002-01-31T23:25:00.000-05:00

R-E-C-Y-C-L-E help save some energy
That's why fish bathe together. To save energy.
Cows moo on my tv. They moo for electric coorporatives.

2002-01-31T23:21:00.000-05:00

alice in wonderland: a children's story in which a hookah-smoking caterpillar advises a young girl to eat mushrooms.

2002-01-31T23:19:00.000-05:00

indeed, bathing is a lonely business.
except for fish.
pardon me, did you just say, except for fish?
yes. fish all bathe together. what are your thoughts?

2002-01-31T23:18:00.000-05:00

What is cabbage?

Wow. I found the busload of people who care (for cabbage)

2002-01-31T23:08:00.000-05:00

WOWIE group blog finally works. YAY. I'm so excider. This is most excellent.

2002-01-31T22:13:00.000-05:00

it doesn't matter anyway
cos when you're single on valentine's day
no one calls you cookie